what a funny time…

I feel like I’m in one of the weirdest seasons of my life right now.

I’ve been home from IHOP for 3 months now and no job. Not to mention, my car won’t drive and is in “critical condition” according to the mechanic I took it to.

The only thing I know how to do right now is seek the Lord in this time. After all, I suppose that’s the most important thing in life at all times. But in these times, how much more aware am I of the fact that I need Him.

I have so many things I want to get done right now… some are valid dreams, some are monthly needs. But I know there is purpose in this all. Would the Lord lead me into a pit? I’m so sure that I’m in the right place, but at the same time I’m wrestling to remember the faithfulness of the Lord in this time. He is always faithful, and even in this season, He is faithful.

I had coffee with a man the other day who replied to my situation, “I think the Lord is telling you to get up and go back to school!” But that was after I briefly mentioned what I believe to be the purpose of the Lord in this weird season.

It was actually a challenge to me, and I came home later and asked the Lord, “Do you want me to go back to school?” and I was all the more reassured that this was not the plan of the Lord for my life right now, although, I am excited about going back to school eventually.

Now is a time to seek the Lord. I want to gaze on His beauty and understand Him. I want to catch the dreams of His heart and the desires He has for me now.

If now is to simply to gaze on Him as my beautiful Lord now, that will be enough for me. And if it’s more, I have an exciting adventure ahead of me and I’m so ready to take -what a contrast to the under-stimulated lifestyle I’ve been in lately! Perhaps this is all to learn to take joy in the Lord and not in things! If I am to only take joy in my job, my dreams, and myself what kind of hope is that? Those can fail so easily… but the Lord, He is a strong tower! He is my refuge and my Hope.

A little heavy, a little personal, but what’s a blog for?

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